#4 Father’s Day special

Kumusta, Ka-Diskurso!

Father's Day is here again, and just like every year, social media will be flooded with heartwarming posts: "Best Dad Ever," "My Hero," "Salamat, Papa!" And all those things are true, for many of us. But let's be real, Ka-Diskurso. If we’re being honest with ourselves, especially us men, the journey to becoming that "best dad ever" is less like a final scene from a beautifully wrapped movie and more like a never-ending teleserye marathon, a constant work in progress.

We’re not superheroes like Captain Barbell, even if our kids sometimes think we are. We're not perfect. Far from it. We're just a bunch of guys, often stumbling, sometimes succeeding, but always, always trying. This isn't about tear-jerking confessions of failure, but an honest look at what it truly means to be a father and a husband in this wild ride we call life, especially here in the Philippines. It's about recognizing that as men, we carry our own baggage, our own flaws, our own pagkakamali in the script, if you will. But for the sake of those little eyes looking up at us, for the future of our family, we roll up our sleeves and strive to rewrite those bad scenes, to make amends, and to become a better version of ourselves every day.

Remember those classic Pinoy action films from the 90s, like "Ang Probinsyano" or "Pare Ko"? The lead character always gets into trouble, faces impossible odds, but keeps fighting, right? They get beaten, but they rise again, learning from every sapok. Being a father is a lot like that. You start, you learn, you adapt. You get knocked down, but you get back up. It’s a continuous fight, not against others, but against your own shortcomings, always aiming for that "happy ending" for your family.

The Flawed Blueprint: What We Bring to the Table

Let's face it. Men, by nature, are not flawless. We can be stubborn, sometimes selfish, occasionally oblivious. We might procrastinate on fixing that broken doorknob for weeks (or months!). We might get lost in our thoughts, miss important cues, or choose a barkada drinking session over a family outing once in a while. We carry the weight of expectations, often silent ones, from society, from our families, and ourselves. And sometimes, that weight makes us stumble.

Before kids, life might have felt like a lighthearted comedy film where most choices revolved around "Ano ulam?" or "Should I buy that new video game?" But then, suddenly, there are these tiny humans who depend on you for everything. That's when the "ahas sa damo" in our character becomes painfully obvious. The late nights playing games suddenly feel irresponsible when a baby is crying. The spontaneous road trips feel less appealing when you realize you need a car seat, a chichirya, and a portable potty. It's a rude awakening, a moment when you realize your character arc isn't just about you anymore. It’s about being an example.

The Ultimate Character Development: Children as Our Gurus

And that, Ka-Diskurso, is where the magic happens. Children are, without a doubt, the greatest catalysts for personal growth. They don't just teach you patience; they force you to become patient, like waiting for your favorite teleserye to finish its commercial break. They don't just teach you responsibility; they demand it. You look at their innocent faces, their boundless energy, their unwavering trust, and something shifts inside you. It's like your script gets an urgent "major plot twist" notification.

You realize that your actions, big or small, are being recorded, absorbed, and often imitated. If you yell, they might yell. If you show kindness, they learn compassion. It’s the ultimate "Ano Kaya Sasabihin Nila?" moment that pops up in your head, much like those dramatic pauses in "Maalaala Mo Kaya" but with a far more profound meaning. Your flaws, which you might have comfortably ignored before, suddenly become glaring issues because you don't want them to be inherited. You start consciously, painstakingly, trying to iron out those wrinkles in your personality. You try to be more present, to listen more, to react less emotionally. You learn to swallow your pride, apologize when you're wrong, and admit when you don't know something. Why? Because you want them to see a human father, yes, but also a father who is constantly striving to be better. It's not about being perfect, it's about perfecting the effort.

The Double Role: Husband and Father

Being a father doesn't happen in a vacuum. It's intimately linked with being a husband. Your children are constantly observing how you treat their mother. The foundation of your family is not just your bond with your kids, but your partnership with your spouse. Being a good husband means being a supportive partner, a good listener, and someone who shares the burden and the joy of raising a family. It means recognizing that your wife is not just a mother, but also a person with her dreams, fears, and needs.

In a world where relationships can feel as fleeting as a sampaguita necklace, building a strong, respectful partnership sets a powerful example for your children. It teaches them about love, commitment, compromise, and resilience. It shows them what a healthy relationship looks like, giving them a blueprint for their future. When you honor your marriage, you strengthen your family and you provide a stable, loving environment for your children to thrive.

And speaking of relationships, Ka-Diskurso, let’s talk about that husband part. Recent experiences have opened my eyes! Life can get routine, right? Sometimes, in the humdrum of daily life, a man might get a silly, misguided notion to "spice things up," perhaps looking for excitement in places he shouldn't. It's like a plot twist you think will make the story more interesting, but you soon realize it’s a direct route to a tragic ending. There are moments, Ka-Diskurso, when a man, flawed as he is, might stray, or at least be tempted to look in another direction. Maybe it's a passing thought, a fleeting fantasy, or a moment of weakness that almost sends him down a wrong path, like a character in a drama caught between two worlds.

But then, by some sheer stroke of providence, or maybe a guardian angel whispering in his ear, he's given a chance to do right again. And to have a wife, whose strength and love are as unwavering as the classic Filipino movie heroines, to forgive him, to open her heart again and welcome him back… that, Ka-Diskurso, is a gift. It makes you feel like the luckiest, most undeserving Prick in the world, humbled by a love so big it covers your deepest mistakes. It’s a harsh reminder that true love isn't about avoiding mistakes, but about the grace to overcome them, and the unwavering commitment to stay. That kind of forgiveness isn't just a plot device; it's a powerful lesson in human connection, a testament to a love that’s real and enduring.

Navigating the Storm: Filipino Realities

Now, let's talk about the specific battleground that is the Philippines. Being a father and a husband here isn't just about personal growth; it's also about navigating a complex, often challenging, economic and political landscape. We all feel it, Ka-Diskurso.

The rising cost of basic goods hits hard. Every trip to the palengke or supermarket feels like a wrestling match against inflation, like a scene straight out of a Pinoy drama where every centavo counts. A kilo of sugar or a bottle of cooking oil costs more and more, making every peso stretch thinner than pandesal on a bad morning. Providing three square meals a day, ensuring they have school supplies, paying for electricity that seems to spike every month – these are not trivial concerns. These are the daily struggles that keep a father up at night, crunching numbers, looking for extra income, or sometimes, reluctantly making the tough decision to leave the country as an OFW, enduring the pain of separation just to provide.

Then there's the political noise. The constant stream of news, the debates, the controversies. As fathers, we're not just consumers of information; we're also filters. We want to shield our children from the cynicism and negativity, while still teaching them to be aware and critical citizens. How do you explain complex political issues to a child without instilling fear or despair? How do you teach them about integrity when it feels like the world around them is often lacking it? It’s a delicate balancing act, like trying to keep your favorite suman from falling apart.

Beyond economics and politics, there are societal pressures. The expectation to provide not just for your immediate family, but sometimes for your extended family too. The pressure to achieve, to succeed, to prove your worth. It's a heavy load, and sometimes, it feels like you're carrying the weight of the world, much like a character enduring trials in a classic drama.

The Shield: Protecting Your Own and Preparing Them

But this is where the core of a father’s strength truly shines. Weathering the storm and shielding your family from harm and unnecessary dangers is not just part of being a good father; it is being a father. When the economic winds blow cold, it's about finding ways to keep the home warm. When the political landscape feels uncertain, it’s about providing a sense of security and stability within your own four walls.

This doesn't mean hiding them from reality. Instead, it means getting our children ready for what the world offers, both good and bad. It’s like preparing them for their grand adventure, not just keeping them safe in the castle. We need to do this in a loving environment, where they feel secure enough to ask questions and explore. It's about teaching them the ability to discern for themselves the path they will choose as they journey through life. We’re not just providing a shield; we’re giving them a compass and teaching them how to read it. It's about being their Mufasa, teaching them about the circle of life, the dangers and wonders of the world, and most importantly, reminding them, "Remember who you are."

It’s the silent sacrifices: choosing to skip that new gadget for yourself so your child can have new shoes. It's the long hours, the overtime, the side hustles, all done without complaint because the thought of your family’s well-being fuels you. It's the moments when you bite your tongue, take a deep breath, and choose calm over anger. It’s the conscious decision to be the protector, the provider, the unwavering presence, much like a steadfast hero in a pelikula.

The Daily Grind: A Continuous Level Up

Being a good father and husband isn't about grand gestures every day. It's in the quiet, consistent efforts. It's in helping with homework, listening to their endless stories, and fixing a broken toy. It's in remembering your anniversary, helping with chores, and simply being there for your wife after a long day. It's the daily grind, the small, seemingly insignificant acts that, when strung together, form the strong, unbreakable chain of love and commitment, like the recurring themes that make a classic film unforgettable.

It’s accepting that you will make mistakes. There will be days when you lose your cool, days when you feel like you've failed, like a boxer getting knocked down. But the true measure of a father and a husband isn't in never falling, but in always getting back up, dusting yourself off, and trying again. It’s about showing your children, through your actions, that growth is a lifelong process, much like a character's journey through multiple teleserye seasons.

So, this Father's Day, Ka-Diskurso, let’s celebrate not just the "perfect" dads we see in commercials, but the real ones. The ones who are flawed, who struggle, who doubt themselves, but who show up every single day, trying to be a little bit better than they were yesterday. To all the fathers and husbands out there, still striving, still learning, still fighting the good fight for their families: Your unfinished work is your greatest masterpiece. You are seen, you are appreciated, and your effort makes all the difference.

Happy Father's Day!